Re:Creation
In late 2018 I started a Meisner acting class at Matthew Corozine Studio. The rotation of the core lessons were said by somebody (usually Matt) in every class; Get Out Of Your Head; Just Breathe; I Got It From You. Here we were allowing space so we can understand our triggers to cultivate pure creation. And we were moved to create by outside inspiration.
I had decided to create an EP called Slow Dance around the songs I already had; Just Breathe and Creation. I wanted to create a deep, contemplative sound that moved the body and mind at the same time. With all the songs written and still taking my acting class, Matt assigned us to write and memorize a monologue of our vows to anything we specifically would vow to. Immediately I thought about my journey to get me to this point and though it wasn’t all a slow dance, it was all creation. In order to move forward, I needed to create.
I changed the name of the EP and wrote the following vow to Creation:
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Creation. All of it. And my contribution to it.
You see, I was a creation 34 plus years ago. Created by created beings.
I look at the universe and it only expands as it creates more mass. My very presence is expanse itself.
34 years of exterior friction has tried to mold how and why I create. Being limited to a marketing piece and told I need to create to others liking for it to hold any value. 34 years being conditioned to believe my value can only be built by others. No wonder Van Gough cut his ear off. All of that outside noise limiting expanse.
I lost hearing in my right ear when I was 13 years old. Not metaphorically but literally. By 13, I was already marching to my own beat making my polyphony unique. And now I had different aural perception. I graduated from Music school summa cum laude with a degree in songwriting. I was there to hone better tools to tell the stories I needed to tell despite my unique condition. Within those tools, the molds of success were subconsciously woven in to encourage conformity within my individuality.
And then I moved to New York. Being unique is not unique in New York. It’s then you know you need unique New York. Like the subway spaghetti mess under the city, the social systems and microcosms connect you, delay you and force you to grow. 10 years of being told by my closest friends in this beautiful city that my art doesn’t reach a wide enough audience and won’t bring me success had dissuaded truth in my art. Then I realized their mold of success was not my mold. Their version of happiness was not my version of happiness. They may never experience the abstract clouds I painted on my ceiling or the dozens of plants I’ve raised and arranged around my home. They may never know the graffiti they saw on the street or the painting they saw somewhere was originally my creation. That song you heard on the radio? I had a hand in creating it. Somehow my universe has expanded because of you as well and though I may not give you the credit or pay you financially, your contribution has enriched life itself. We all are created beings created by a creative process that expands the universe. When a positive thought is created, it branches out neurons that create more neurons expanding mental mass. Likewise, when you think a negative thought, the neuron fires off and dies, no longer creating. There is life in creation. This is scientifically measurable observation in neuroscience.
I am a neuron that will not let the negative trauma of our ancestors stop me from expanding the universe.
Creation. All of it. And my contribution to it. A renewing of my inherited vow to creation. Pure unabated, truthful creation. Until I’ve stopped breathing, my vow is not fulfilled.
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